Who Are My People? (E)

     "You see out those windows? That's where your people are. Through that door? Those aren't your people. You haven't met your people yet. The people here are your roots but they aren't your people."

    Welcome to AP Lang? 

     I wrote down what McMahon said that first week of class in my notes the period after she said it. I don't know exactly why I decided to write down what she said in my notes but it has stuck with me all year and left me with questions since I first heard it. The main ones though are who even are my people? What do they look like? What do they do? Where do I find this group of people?

     All year I've been trying to decide who my people are or what they would be like. I've been trying to find them and decide who they are in my head so I can look for them now or in the future. So here are 10 things that my people must be. If a person meets all of these, then they are part of my people.

1. My people will be kind but not too kind because I need to be humbled by being called stupid every once in a while
2. My people will be empathetic to others even if they don't always understand them
3. My people will be active in politics and have the same standing on them as me
4. My people will like the same music as me so we can always listen to our favorite bands together
5. My people will love animals (even snakes because I have one and she's lovely)
6. My people will be smart and will want to be educated on the world
7. My people will be adventurous and want to try new things but they won't be stupid or go to jail for trying something a little too wild
8. My people will always be on time to plans and will always come prepared
9. My people will be protective of me but will also give me my space because I don't want to feel constrained
10. My people will be there no matter what and have my back in any situation

     I look at this list and I'm pleased. That's what my people look like and I want to meet them. The thing is, they don't exist. In my head, these people are perfect. They have no flaws and love the same things I do. I never get mad at them and they can do no wrong. But I've realized that they don't exist. 

     At first when I say that, I'm saddened. It's a loss for me. These people who have never and will never exist. I miss thinking about them and hoping that they'll come find me. I always wished they'd come and I'd just be happy with them all the time because that's what life is supposed to be like. Perfect.

     But then I'm not so sad anymore. I guess I've been thinking about it a lot and I don't want these people. They're agreeable and they're happy and they like what I like. But that's not what I want. I don't even really know what I want anymore. All I know is what I have. What I have now is a Main Friend Group. And they aren't perfect by any means.

     Me and Tori constantly bump heads because we're both competitive (Kahoot in earth science gets fiery). Marissa asks controversial questions in our groupchat for fun which usually leads to debates between us and gets me heated. Vanessa mixes her ice cream until it's soup when we're out to dinner which is blasphemous. Grace is so cryptic and I usually can't guess what she's thinking (she could be a serial killer, I'd never know). And Emily has said many times that she wants to make me cry because she had never seen me cry. It's a weird group. But it's mine. We may not always get along and we may get mad at each other but we're together on this Island of Misfit Toys. 

     I don't think McMahon was right when she said our people aren't in this school. Maybe they are my roots, that's true. But that doesn't mean they aren't my people too. Our people change with us and when I leave I know things will change. I know this Group will not be the only Group I experience when I get to college or when I'm 30 and starting a new job. I know that. But I'm me right now and these are my people with who I am in this moment. 

     There is no formula for who my people are or what they do or where they're from. My people are whoever I love in the moment. I'm open to the future and I'm open to new people in my life, but the present is a pretty good place to be with My Group.